Sunday, February 28, 2010

He's Just Not That Into Me

My best relationship lessons have come from these girls....

I know, I know, I KNOW how dumb this post is going to sound, even as I sit here typing the first paragraph. I think I like to work myself up into an emotional turmoil occasionally just to keep the brain limber or something. Make sure I'm human. Make sure I'm good at self-involvement.

You know that book "He's Just Not That Into You"? I haven't read it. I haven't made it through the terrible movie of the same title yet either. I did watch the episode of Sex & The City where it originated, and it made perfect sense to me. I don't know that it deserved an entire self-help book because the idea is fairly straight forward, but somebody sure did make a lot of money on it. I enjoyed "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man" which I gather has a lot of the exact same stuff in it. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.
(Just a sidebar here, I was reading reviews of He's Just Not That Into You on, and ran across this gem of a statement: " to me this book's most valuable contribution to my dating life has been to teach me that I've been assigning meaning to the wrong actions. Flirting with you at parties and sex do not mean he's into you...." In other words, NOT just kickin' it. Or hanging out. Or whatever your favorite phrase is.)

Soooooo, a while back I was sitting in my living room trying to sew and watch the Olympics at the same time, looking through library books for design ideas, and drinking tea- a typical night in Heatherland a couple of weeks ago as I was pulling myself out of that perpetual bad mood from the beginning of the month. Anyway, I was in the middle of this texting conversation with the mystery man who has now been mentioned in my blog TWICE due to his rampant inattention and... well that's enough of that because that's the whole point. It came to me in a flash, there may have been a clap of thunder:

He's just not that into me.

Boy was that freeing. I snapped that phone closed and haven't had a thing to do with him since. I mean, like I said in this post I no longer feel that I've done something wrong or that this is my fault. He's just not feeling me. And that is not my problem.

WOW! The ability to let go of a situation like that is powerful. It might even have a little something to do with my crankiness going away.

There are much more important things to think about right now. Like quilt binding. Painting my walls. Johnny Weir and his tassel. How I could possibly have 1039 spam messages in my Junk Mailbox. Gilles Marini is on Brothers & Sisters tonight. Why I waited so long to get my hair cut.

You know, the big stuff.

Follow-up: I actually wrote this post a while ago, and of course ended up getting a text from the guy over a week after I'd last heard from him. I couldn't resist, "Why are you texting me out of the blue?" "Out of the blue? I thought we were cool?"

Oh dude, you are seriously just not that into me.

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