Happy New Year! A Resolutions List.

I realize that we are now 8 days into the New Year, but blogging is one of my New Year's resolutions.  And I was already waylaid in that resolution by the flu.  UGH.

So anyway, Happy New Year!

If anyone is still reading this, I will be floored.

Every time I go back and look at what I've written in the past, I'm kind of proud of my little blog.  I miss blogging.  I got so bogged (blogged) down in the idea that my blog has to have a focus that I got stage fright and just quit.

So, resolution #1: Blog.  A minimum of twice a week.  I gots stuff to say folks, and this is the platform on which to say it.  Also, there's no point in being really anonymous anymore.  I'm not going to give out my address or social security number, but my name really is Heather and I really do live in Nashville.  And there will be pictures.

Work-smirk.  Yay.

 Resolution #2: Lose 60 more lbs.  I've lost 47 lbs since the beginning of July, thanks to eating right and working hard at the gym.  It's a struggle, I'm not going to lie.  Food addiction is a bitch.  But I KNOW that I can do this because I've already come so far.  So I plan to keep it up in 2013.

Resolution #3: Go to 80% plant based foods.  I'd like to go 100% but I know times are going to come when I want cheese or a BURGER dammit, and I don't want to feel like a failure.  Vegan is such a strong, negative word.  I don't want to use it.  But I do want to follow the principles of Forks Over Knives and Eat to Live.

Resolution #4:  Twitter?  I was looking through my Twitter feed last night and dammit I am funny.  I should tweet more.

Resolution #5: Dating.  Admittedly I started this in 2012, but I've been on Okcupid for several months now.  I have had several first dates.  Some panned out and some did not, so we'll see where it goes.  It is good for me to get out of my comfort zone and meet people.  Also, I am a fantastic first dater.  Seriously, if you go on a first date with me, you will want to go on another one.  I am fun!

In my head #2 and #3 go together (lifestyle choices), and #1 and #4 are a pair as well (internety stuff).  So it's kind of like I only have 3 resolutions instead of five.  That feels a lot more reasonable.

Any resolutions from my non-existent readers?  Tell me all about it!

I Would Just Like to Point Out....

That it is storming. AGAIN. We've been under so many thunderstorm warnings and tornado warnings in the past week that I have lost count. This is a really really weird Spring/Summer. It's gotten to the point where even I don't really care about the weather unless I'm actually out driving into a tornado or something. What can I do about it? I haven't acquired that super power to control the elements yet. And the HEAT- it's been in the 90s everyday for what feels like forever, but probably just since Wednesday.

Today I read that Heather over at pixelscribbles is having a similar problem with blogging that I am having. This blog used to be totally anonymous, but as I've let more and more people in on it, it is totally NOT anonymous anymore. And I am trying to get more comfortable with that. (To the point where I'm bringing it up randomly in conversations and then can't adequately express what the heck I'm trying to say and we ALL know I do better writing than talking so duh Heather, let's address this in the blog!) Three years ago I was talking about anything I felt like because it was a safe place to explore my feelings and opinions about a variety of topics. Now I am not shy about expressing myself (noooooo...?!) but (believe it or not... I know, you're not going to believe it) I sometimes feel like I'm not heard in conversations, or I don't want to interrupt so the moment passes, or I feel like someone who never gets their say is actually talking and I'd better let them have their moment, or I need to work things out a little more in my head so that I can really express my views on it, so it is better for me to write things. But now I wonder if the fact that I have more readers than I used to is getting in the way of writing candidly and honestly.

I also wonder if I'm getting sort of boring or if I'm a little TOO opinionated or if the people who know me in real life are sort of surprised about the topics I choose to write about here. I wonder about my format- should I have a theme? HeatherBakes has a great blog that is focused on food- all of the food she eats every day, which is much more interesting than it sounds because she's in chef school- with a little bit of life thrown in. Sal's theme at AlreadyPretty is on women and body issues. There are many many fashion blogs in my blogroll. I think I lack the focus for that kind of theme.... I mean, I can't just pick one! Would it be fiber/sewing stuff or food/body stuff or makeup reviews or TV I love to watch or what? I don't think it would work for me. Heather at Pixelscribbles and Heather at Dooce both write more journalistic blogs and not only are they really fun to read, I think I'm better at journally. I've always been a person who just writes whatever is in my head anyway. I think it is also good to be honest in writing, not just about good things but about more serious stuff like mental health and physical health and the feelings that come with that. I once found a link to my blog on another blog about panic disorder and anxiety, and I figure that if I can help someone out there recognize what is going on with them and get the help they need, that is AWESOME. (And I SWEAR I am not just picking Heathers to write about on purpose, there is a reason my blog is named what it is.)

Unless the topic is extremely personal, I've always used this blog as a journal and I think I'll keep it that way, at least for the time being. It helps me keep track of dates and what I was doing when. It helped me to realize my problem with the depression/anxiety ramp-up in the early summer. It has made me remember why I am doing what I am doing and kept me on track about things like exercise and the Great Nail Bite Out of '09. It is a good semi-public outlet for me. I think the only group of people I would NOT be comfortable getting in the vault (that was the only good line from The Women, "It's in the vault." Meaning, "It doesn't leave the walls of this room!") would be colleagues at work. And if that happened I guess I'd just have to suck it up. It's just that this is not the most professional side of myself, and it would definitely get in the way of me being open and real. I know that work-heather and life-heather aren't drastically different, but I'd like to pretend I'm on top of things at work. This wouldn't help!