Thursday, September 09, 2010

I'm Trying

Labor Day weekend in DC was great, as always. My sister and I always have a good time when we're hanging out. We really needed to decompress because we've both been really stressed and it was nice to just relax and not have to be anywhere or do anything we didn't feel like doing. We went bowling, hit a couple of museums (One of them just for the gift shop- forget art! We want to see pretty jewelry!), walked to Whole Foods and Starbucks for breakfast, ordered Chinese takeout, and bummed around. Perfect. I threatened to really embarrass the heck out of her and wear these:

Along with these:

But I never came through with my threats. I think she was relieved.

Aaaaand I should have stayed up there.

So a couple of weeks ago I mentioned that my friend's daughter died. And this week that same friend's husband had a heart attack (he's in the hospital now). And someone else's brother-in-law died. And someone's friend's son died. And another friend had to have her cat put to sleep. And how the heck does a person stay positive when all of this shit is happening all around us? I know this is natural- the fact that it is all happening now is a coincidence. But still I keep asking myself WHY? Actually, it's more like "WHAT THE FUCK???" but just going with why seems more polite. I am angry, and it is scary and depressing, and all of these bad things shouldn't be happening all at once. But the universe has a way of righting itself: 2 co-workers just had babies, a friend of mine is looking like she'd like her baby OUT ASAP please, and weirdly two of my favorite youtube people are preggers too. I need to remember that- there's always balance.

I'm trying so hard to stay positive and not dwell, but it's really difficult. Today my body is at work but I don't feel like my brain is. I didn't sleep well last night, and today I feel puffy and sad.

Is it any wonder I've been buying shoes and escaping in good fiction and good TV? It's like my brain has decided to take a break whether I realize it or not, but I sure do need it. (I have to admit there could be some not-so-good TV in there too. I may or may not have purchased seasons 1 and 2 of The Girls Next Door.... There are things I should not admit. Thank God this blogging thing is mostly anonymous. Kinda.)

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