Lately I have been tired- really tired- physically and emotionally. I'm usually a very positive person- I keep my chin up and hope for the best most of the time. I try to see the good in people and situations. And today I was driving to get some lunch and I realized why I am so damn tired. This has been the month/year (too soon to tell?) from hell. And through it all I have still tried to remain positive and see the good and all that crap and it is wearing me out- I think I have hit the limit of what I can take. Why so bad in 2007? Well, consider these points:
- The year started off with chaos at work. CHAOS. I have been slammed with projects as our department gets smaller.
- My Dad is moving to Hong Kong. I moved to my Fair City to be a little closer to some family (still a good 2 hour drive away, but better than 8!), and now that family is leaving.
- Since Dad is going, he's selling the old house, which has been empty for years now. It is really hard work getting it presentable, not just physically demanding, but a long, drawn-out goodbye to the house my family spent the most time in.
- One of my theater friends from several years ago got stomach cancer last year. He died a couple of weeks ago and I didn't get to go to his funeral. (I was at my Mom's commencement for her Master's degree and Gloria Steinham gave the address and I got to hang out with my mom and my sis and that was great. I wouldn't trade that weekend for anything.) Anyway, I hadn't seen him in over a year and I'm dealing with some impressive guilt about that.
- My mom's ex-girlfriend, who has been a friend for years, is really sick. It could be cancer. It could be something else. She's getting weaker and weaker and no one knows why.
- MHM has found out that he has diabetes and a slew of other health problems creeping up on him. He's pretty young for this, but he has been doing well with eating low sugar/fat/salt and not getting bored to tears with his diet. Now if he would just quit smoking I could maybe be more comfortable with the whole thing.
- MHM and I are having issues. I don't know what the future holds for us. We can't change. And we can't change each other. Part of the charm of being with someone is that they are different from you. Part of the frustration is that they are different from you. Go figure.
So I think that if I feel like crawling into a hole and not coming out, that is completely excusable. Also, if I feel like sleeping until noon because the insomnia has been brutal, I think that should be excusable too. But I'm not sure how work will feel about that one....