A while back I was talking to my Grandmother on the phone, when she got on the subject of Oprah.
"Oprah! I am just disgusted with that woman!"
"Really? What did she do now?"
"Have you seen her school for girls in Africa? Did you hear about this? She spent $240 million or billion dollars on this school. Something like that.... She could have spent half the money and helped twice as many people but nooooo, she had to have marble topped tables! In a cafeteria! For kids!"
"You mean she didn't call and consult with you first grandma?"
"No! And she really should have," she chuckled to herself. "She should have called me."
"Well isn't it good that she's doing something?"
"I don't know about that... and she said she's going to tell those girls they are pretty every day! To build their self-esteem! HA! That's not how you build self-esteem. You build self-esteem through achievement."
Oh WOW, my whole entire childhood makes sense now. Don't be too pretty. Get as much education as you possibly can. And don't just get education, get lots of it and make good grades and make something of yourself through hard work. Did I mention my forebears were farmers? The only way to get off the farm was to get through, say, high school.
Of course, after this conversation I called my Mom (she cringed, I could hear it) and my sister who just laughed. ACHIEVEMENT! It's the only way to self-esteem!