Today has been a much better day than yesterday. Yesterday was dark and foggy and rainy, which probably didn't help my mood at all. Today was sunny and clear and COLD, yow! But on the whole a much better day. Went to a faculty meeting, bonded with my boss, knocked out projects at work, and went shopping. I came home thinking, "Hey! This was a good day!" Tonight just happens to be Papa John's Night at my apartment complex ($6 for a large) so I have a pizza on the counter and I'm going to sit on the couch and ignore the world so I can watch Grey's Anatomy and basically veg. It's a good night for that.
Tomorrow morning I'm getting up early to walk. I'm supposed to be walking in the sun every morning to ward off the SAD (and I should have been doing it for the past 3 weeks, but the time change has caught me off guard this year). I learned this 4 years ago when I was seeing a therapist at school because I felt so blah and pressured and the panic attacks were averaging one every 2 or 3 days. I didn't want to live like that. I was terrified and all by myself and felt like I was dying. So the grad student I was working with helped me put together a few things which I still find valuable, even though I'm out of school and in a much more relaxed work environment.
#1 Change my self-talk to be kinder. I was really good at beating my self up (and MHM will tell you I'm still good at it) but I've gotten a whole lot better.
#2 If I stress out, things will get done. If I don't stress out, things will get done. The only difference is that one way I'll be calm and the other way I'll be miserable. I get to pick how I'll go about it.
#3 Make a list of things I can do when I feel panicked/overwhelmed. Take a bubble-bath, do my toenails, drive around in the car blasting the music, watch movies I love, read (anything), write, journal, sew, draw, design, play music (this was back when I still played), make something delicious. Just take it easy.
#4 Take a walk every morning in the sun before I go to work.
#5 Do things for me, not to please others.
It really helped then, and it will really help now. I just have to be reminded. HELLO HEATHER! Time to get into defense mode. Maybe since I have to blog every day this month I'll log the walks too.
(#6 Oh yeah, hitting the Bath and Body Works sale doesn't hurt either- has anyone tried the Brown Sugar and Fig body splash? I smell downright edible! Happiness for $5!)
PS Does anyone find it funny that the word "Blog" isn't in spellcheck on Blogger???