Friday, June 15, 2012


So, first I have a disclaimer: I have not read the Fifty Shades of Grey books.  I think that puts me in a group with approximately 5% of the world's female population between the ages of 20 and 40.  Every time I turn around someone is reading them, talking about them, posting nonsense on facebook about them, blogging about them, fantasizing about them.  Honestly, I feel left out.

My sister is reading them on her kindle, and when she's done she's going to figure out how to let me borrow them.

That being said, I did read the sample of the first chapter.  The writing was crummy, I was bored.  I guess you don't get to the "good parts" until you buy the book.  And while I'm sure the good parts are pretty darn good (or what's the point of all this popularity), I get a little worried when it comes to books like this.

I worried about Twilight too.

A bunch of little girls (well, teenagers) read Twilight and thought Edward was the most ROMANTIC CHARACTER EVERRRRRRRR.  OMG!  HE SPARKLES!

I read it thinking OMG he's stalking this girl and totally controlling her life.  When he leaves she gets so depressed she can't even function.  He breaks into her room to watch her sleep.  He pulls her away from all of her friends.  He threatens her with death at any moment- he just loves her so much he can try to "control" himself.  This is not healthy, and certainly not a good example for teenagers out there.  Heck, it's not a good example for anybody.

HOWEVER, I have read all of the books because the story was good and I'm an adult who understands the difference between romantic love and creepy obsession.

Cut to Fifty Shades of Grey.  We've already established that I haven't read the books, but this pattern isn't that different from Twilight, which makes sense since it started as Twilight fan fiction anyway.  But what is this fascination with controlling, abusive, obsessive men?  Is there really so much wrong with women in this world that they think that Christian Grey is "the perfect man"?  (I read that quote somewhere, it makes my skin crawl.)

 I'm not saying that people shouldn't have whatever kind of kinky sex they want to.  Swing from ceilings, cane each other senseless, tie your partner up in puzzle knots and light them on fire- whatever you guys are into.  As long as you know what you're doing and it's consensual, I don't much care.  But the message is that it is okay to let someone do all of that to you even when you are completely naive and too immature to understand what is really going on.

When will people stop equating violence with love and stalking with romance?

Notice any similarities much?

I think I'll do this like my last romance novel hilarity that turned out to be re-runs of the exact same thing.  It was like watching an episode of Real Housewives of Some Other City 50 times in a row.  I'm going to find the examples of writing that make me laugh and post them here.

It'll be fun!  Promise!

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