Monday, July 26, 2010

The Books... Part 3

So you might guess from the tone of yesterday's post that the romance novels have gone straight to my head and now I can't write anything without some sort of throbbing innuendo. OMG it was just a vacuum cleaner!

Internets, I have a confession to make. I can't take the romance novels. I know I started off with really great intentions but now... after reading one and a half of these I cannot make myself read anymore. The writing is appalling and the story lines are all the same. I will give you the formula:

Foreign hot dude who is basically sex on legs. But has a temper. He has to be tamed. He is also gorgeous and tends to be described in terms of animals (stallion, tiger, whatever).
Relatable American woman who yearns and longs for things even she doesn't understand- but in a very relatable, if prim, way. Sort of dull girl-next-door quality, probably smoking hot but doesn't realize it. Snooze.
Exotic location (Greece, Italy, Paris- nothing TOO exotic. Wouldn't want any danger of crossing racial lines!)
All Common Sense (if only for a moment of deep un-understandable passion)
Weird romantic past (dated in high school, college, were married, their exes are married, whatever)
The most important part- the CONSEQUENCES of sex with hot dude. Usually pregnancy. Because really a raging case of chlamydia just isn't that sexy and would not draw this couple together by the end of the book.
Predictable harlequin romance that you couldn't pay me to read at this point.

I can't take any more. I am sorry. I failed in my promise to review each book for you because I could feel my brain cells crying.

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