Marriage has been on my mind lately. No, I'm not going to get married any time soon. I don't have any particular lucky groom in mind (unless it's this guy- I could get on board with that). I'm not really seeing anyone right now. But lately a number of things have happened that are making me realize that marriage is a really smart idea.
I'm totally not viewing this in a romantic way at all, which means that I shouldn't even think about getting married any time soon. I should not be thinking in terms the 13th (or even 19th) century marriage-as-a-business-partnership!
I'm in the middle of buying a house. It would be so nice to have a partner who knows me, understands how my brain works, and is willing to hear me whine and freak out and plan and share the excitement of this time in my life. It would be nice to have a person (and I'm trying to not be gender specific here because women can do this stuff too and I'm not that attached to gender roles, although in my case yes this person would be a guy) who can fix the plumbing if it goes haywire or, I don't know, light the pilot light on the furnace or check out the creepy attic because I'm sure not going up there. It would just be nice to have somebody to share all of this with, so that when I am anxious I can get some reassurance and then when he gets anxious I can be the one to do the calming down. Right now I just seem to talk myself down from emotional cliffs all the time and it is tiring.
Another example: last week the clutch died on my car. Just DIED, as in I couldn't shift gears at all in the middle of the road. I didn't flip out, I just called AAA and had them to tow my car to the repair shop and took it from there. But it sure would have been nice to have someone to call at home who could have come and picked me up, who could have given me a ride to work instead of begging friends to do it, who would have been backup. Also, my car engine has been making a really quiet little noise that it didn't used to make. I took it to the garage and they could hear it but couldn't figure out what the heck it is. They said to come back if it gets louder. Or maybe it's a sound the engine has always made and I'm just now hearing it (because I am not too proud to admit that I am paranoid when it comes to cars). Who knows? But it would be lovely to have someone around who could just listen to my engine and be like, "Heather, you're working yourself up over nothing." Or, "Hey, let me drive your car for a while a see if I can figure out what's going on."
Basically I want a handyman and a mechanic and a psychiatrist. Who does it all for free. Because that's what love is, right? I'm a strong, independent, capable woman who can do this on my own, but I am getting tired of being alone. There, I said it. Somebody give me a prize, I just had a breakthrough.