Monday, December 29, 2008

Lofty Aspirations

I had such grand plans for today. I was going to get so much knocked out so that I could really relax and enjoy the rest of my vacation. I wanted to get my recycling over to the recycling center, go to the bank, mail my dad's birthday box.... Instead I spent the day dyeing my eyebrows, watching "Dexter", eating popcorn, drinking wine, and admiring my toenails sans nail polish. My spirit (call it what you like) knew I needed today to chill out.

I think Christmas took a lot out of me. I love my family- they are the most important people in the world to me and I'd do anything for them. But as with any other family, we are not exactly a Hallmark Special. Things get tense and people get pissy though for the most part everyone tries to be really nice and keep the peace. Then the ruffled feathers are smoothed back down but I still come away with this feeling of... how do I put it? WHAT THE FUCK?

To make things a little more interesting, throw in divorced parents, each with their own significant others who have their own piles of Christmas obligations and expectations and families. You will slowly lose your mind in the midst of the scheduling and smiling.

So I drove home yesterday just mulling everything over in my head. I knew things were getting out of control when someone called me and it was all I could do to not say, "You NEVER listen to me!" I was officially hitting the upper limits of my ability to stay nice. I felt like I was four years old and needed some SERIOUS attention. This is what Christmas does- it not only pulls out your inner child, but makes her want to pitch a temper tantrum because nobody has noticed how well she is behaving! (Hey, 4 year-olds rarely make sense or think things through in a logical adult manner.) Bottom line: there were some great moments about Christmas this year (and some positively WEIRD ones), and in the end I thought it was a success. I am glad I took some extra time off work this week so I could not only process some of the extra pieces added to my outstanding set of emotional baggage (it's designer- jealous?), but to clear some of the physical clutter out of my apartment as well.

The New Year is coming- time to clean up, incorporate my new fantastic Christmas presents into my life, and drag out the diet books. I really need to recommit to this activity they call "exercise" after all of this Christmas eating.

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