The other night I had a dream. Sam and I were in my parent's old house. About the minute the contractions started, we realized I was pregnant. There was no time for a doctor, there was no time for a hospital, Sam was on his own. I passed out from pain and exhaustion halfway through. When I woke up, there was this little shining baby girl wrapped in blankets and looking at me in that totally unfocused newborn baby way. I was overcome with this feeling of total awe and emotion. We had made this person together.
Of course, we then realized that we were in no way prepared for this totally unexpected baby and we had to go to Walmart and find essentials like diapers and bottles and clothes and a crib and blankets and a car seat and all of these things that were really, you know, necessary. And we got back home to this baby (who was sleeping safely in a dishpan seeing as there wasn't a crib or anything), and I was so worried but so excited.
I know exactly where this dream came from. Ms. Hormonal Pregnant woman at work just had her baby on Monday, and she (the baby) is so cute. I don't think I'm having a biological clock meltdown or anything. I'm not ready for all that. One day I will be. But pregnancy scares the hell out of me.