My Allergist Thinks I'm a Moron (She may have a point....)

I say some really air-headed things sometimes. I mean classically stupid dumb-ass things that I will probably never live down. For instance, someone recently asked me if my new-to-me car was still under the factory warranty, and I said, "Ummm I don't know!" which sounded really stupid. And what I was thinking was that I didn't know if it was under the factory warranty but it didn't matter because I bought an extended warranty through Carmax. However, I didn't share that part of the story, thus I sounded dumb.

It happens.

It happened a lot at the allergist's office today. Granted, I feel like absolute crap so I can't be expected to say brilliant things every second. I knew by the very vivid snot I'm producing (don't you love my colorful snot stories?) that this isn't a cold, it's a sinus infection. Instead of being back at work for the first time in 12 days I would much rather be lying on my couch watching Oprah and drinking hot tea. Or a hot toddy. Or tea with whiskey. You know, whatever will take the edge off. HOWEVER, we all know that when you've been away from the office for so long a certain sense of paranoia sets in and you have to get to work no matter what so you don't feel completely out of touch with everything when you get back.

Anyway, I called my allergist's office and was like "Ugh I have a sinus infection death cannot be far off now." And the receptionist was like "Awwww you poor thing! Come in at 9:30." (How awesome is it that I can get an appointment that fast? My regular doctor would say something like, "Hmmmm... is it really that bad? How about Wednesday at 3:30?" And I'd say, "But it's Monday." And they'd say "Right. How about Thursday morning?")

So anyway, the nurse and I did the rundown of medications I'm taking. And really, I'm not taking anything. I am doing allergy shots and so I needed some antihistamines for the crazy reactions I was having until I adjusted to them. And I was taking Nasonex for a while to help with some yucky sinus stuff a couple of months ago.

But the antihistamines made my blood pressure sky rocket and the sinus stuff went away for a while after the weather got cold. Then dumb-ass Heather spent a few Christmas hours at my dad's house around cats without Singulair (cough cough cough) and I didn't get my allergy shots last week because I was on vacation and BAM! Sinus infection. Who knew I was so delicate?

Anyway, the allergist was gently trying to tell me that I need to get my ass back on Nasonex and stay on it because I'm sensitive to tree pollen and that stuff will be starting at the end of next month. And I said, "Oh my gosh its January already isn't it?" Dumb. Of course it is. Just dumb.

Then she said I need to take an antihistamine again and I told her it was making my blood pressure go up. But by the way I was taking 4 Claritins a day. And she just laughed and said, "Hmmmm, do you think THAT might be why your blood pressure was elevated?" Ohhhh HEATHER, of course it is.

So I'm pretty sure that I walked out the door and they all were concerned as to whether or not that dumb blond could even drive herself home. I HATE days when I sound so stupid!