Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Who Knew Crime Was So Funny?

So tonight I was randomly googling some stuff when I came across the Metro Police Department's website. If you browse through that for a while you will come to the Community Oriented Policing reports for the East Precinct which I am finding hilarious. Because while criminals are dumb, victims are dumb too. Here are some quotes:

"....at two in the morning, a guy said that he and his girlfriend were ‘parking”
in his car when 2 suspects approached the driver’s window and pointed a black handgun at him
asking where the money was. The victim and his girlfriend stated they had none.
So, the suspect took his cell phone and a book of CD’s from the vehicle. The
man exposed his girlfriend to risk. Get a room."

"....approached them from the concealment of a dumpster and attempted
to rob them. The friend fled on foot and the victim got into a fight when them. The
suspects then fled on foot down the alley. He did a great job, but we don’t
necessarily recommend fighting your attackers. However, if you can whip ‘em,
more power to ya. Also, try to find friends that won’t leave you to die alone in an

"....a man said that someone knocked on his door at 2:15 am. When he
went outside, he was confronted by 2 suspects armed with guns. They took his
wallet and fled on foot. The victim later heard a car speed off. Maybe, you don’t
answer door knocks in the dead of night by exploring outside. Oh, and leave your
wallet inside."

"1/3 of the cars stolen last week had the keys left in them. In an interesting
statistical coincidence, 33% of the auto theft victims were irresponsible."

I know, it's bad but also FUNNY. I like the sarcasm. This same guy has also put out a list of very common sense safety tips that are good for anyone to remember.

Ahhhh the power of google to waste buckets of time....

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