Thursday

This morning the scale said (A NUMBER). That is a huge obstacle I just crossed- not just passing the (A BIG) mark but losing over 10 lbs which tells me I'm actually acheiving something and not just losing water weight. I'm really proud of myself. I've been careful to up my protein intake for the past week, and I think it has made a difference. Sometimes I get a real craving for french fries, and sometimes I even go get them. But I know that they'll just make me sick, and they do. Every time I eat something fried I wind up with diarrhea and stomach cramps. You'd think that would be a good enough deterrent... But the mind is stronger than the body. I've also been trying to at least do a little more physical activity, whether it is a formal workout tape or cleaning or anything that gets me moving. Surprisingly I love to stretch, so I'm good about incorporating that into my evening routine.

I am so looking forward to the long weekend coming up, I just hope I don't spend it sick. I could feel some sort of funk coming on Tuesday, so I went home at lunch. Tuesday night there was tummy weirdness and I didn't get to sleep until 5:00 am, so I was out yesterday too. This makes me feel guilty but also I don't really care because I want to be well. Dad will be home this weekend so I'll get to hang out with him some. After all the LA weirdness I'm sure we'll have a lot to talk about.

I got paid today and I'm contemplating hitting Dress Barn at Opry Mills and looking at more dresses. And tops. I really liked the stuff they had in Huntsville. Of course, I really should save my money- between the perfume samples and the bras and the new viola case I ordered yesterday it wouldn't kill me to save some money. But I want to feel pretty.

Brilliant work on the viola case- I vaccummed the old one out thoroughly, then scraped that messy sheet music decoupage I slapped on there about 15 years ago. Then I decided, HEY, this case could use a coat of paint so I hit it with the spray paint for plastic. It hasn't dried yet- I read the fine print and it's not for vinyl fabrics so I really fucked that up. It's all sticky. I went and ordered an inexpensive new case- I hope it is the right size. Also, the new one isn't lined with that awful fake fur so maybe that will help keep the bow bugs to a minimum. But now I plan to actually PLAY the thing, so it won't be locked up in the dark all the time and that will help more than anything. I'm excited about getting back into it.

I'm irritated with Sam. He got the questionaire for Big Brothers/ Big Sisters and said that he doesn't know how I am around kids. (????) He said whenever we're with kids he's so distracted by them that he hasn't had a chance to observe what I'm like with them. What is this, a science experiment? This guy has to go to bat for me sometime. He refuses to even mention that fact that I might be looking for a job in Huntsville to any contacts he has. There's honest, and then there's unsupportive. I just don't know.

Tuesday

You know, this is one of those days. I woke up with a dry throat. Not sore, just dry. But now I'm wondering if I'm going to get a cold tomorrow or if it's taking over my body right now because I tell you what, I am exhausted. I want to get in some warm soft pajamas, crank up the AC, take some Nyquil, and sleep until, um, tomorrow.

Instead I'm at work with close to nothing to do. If I stare blankly into space will anyone notice? If I read blogs all day will anyone notice? If I go home at lunch will anyone notice?

To top it all off I have my Big Brothers/ Big Sisters interview tonight. I really want this to go well, I think it would be fun.

This morning this girl I work with got on the elevator with me. She was on the phone with her husband and seemed sort of reassuring but irritated. She hung up and said, "Charlie makes lunch for me everyday, but this morning he forgot to put it in my car!" Which just cracked me up. I emailed that to Sam asking if he'd do that for me, and who are these perfect people? And he said, "Yes, I will, but I'll also forget sometimes." Awwwwww.

It's freezing in here today. FREEZING. Maybe I'm sick and feverish? I could just go home... I have 8 episodes of The West Wing that aren't going to watch themselves.... :) I also really need to go to Walmart, it's the one place I can think of that will have bread, lemon juice, sunscreen, and wooden hangers (it's getting to be time to upgrade). Also, I want to see if they have any different colorways of the dressy mesh shirts I got there last week- they work with EVERYTHING, and they're super flattering. We shall see.

Things I'm waiting for:

-The mess of perfume samples I ordered from theperfumedcourt.com

-The strapless bra I ordered from JMS.com. They tell me that should be here by Friday, and I hope it fits. I'd like to wear my sundress this weekend without my bra flashing out all over the place. Plus, a girl needs appropriate undergarments if she expects her clothes to work AT ALL. Where have I been?