Makeup!

I have an obsession with makeup. I loooooove it. I love to see what effects I can make with different products. I love testing stuff out on the back of my hand. Sometimes when I'm in a bad mood I'll play with colors in front of the bathroom mirror on a Saturday afternoon because it's FUN and things are instantly better. I'm quite attached to some products. And someone might be mildly interested in what they are, so I will share.

Foundation- I really don't use it. I think my face looks better without it. Foundation settles into lines on my forehead and then I suddenly HAVE LINES ON MY FOREHEAD. When I don't wear foundation this doesn't happen. I got some Mary Kay foundation recently and while I love how even my skin looks I sort of hate the lines thing. And the breakout thing. So I'm saving it for serious occasions when I really need my skin to look even and fantastic. Like parties or dates or something.

Concealer- Maybelline Instant Age Rewind Concealer in the lightest color they make. It's great for breakouts, redness, dark circles. I've been using a tube of this for about 2 years now that I think about it. And like the mascara post I did a couple of weeks ago, that might be disgusting and it might be time to restock that. Ew. I've been searching for a concealer with a heavier consistency but so far I haven't found one I like.




Brows- HUGE big deal for me. I was born blond, and while my hair has darkened up a lot, my eyebrows are still very very blond. As in not visible. So I use brown pencil and sometimes gel. My favorite pencil used to be from MAC, but then I tried Glimmersticks Brow Definer from Avon and I've never turned back. They are 1/4 of the price and work just ask well. And best of all the color is blond- not red or brown or beige. Sometimes I'll put MAC Browset over it but usually not. And despite the fact that you practically can't see them, I do pluck the stray hairs under my brows. (And this whole white blond thing really isn't something I should complain about. If I had dark hair I would be SASQUATCH and I'd probably have to wax my arms and upper lip and maybe my whole entire face! GROSS!)

Cheeks- MAC blush. I used to not wear blush until I realized how it makes me look young and alive and gives my face some dimension. So I have a pink one and a peachy one and I use them depending on my mood. I also have an Avon cream blush that I like but it takes a little more time to apply and blend in so I'm not as apt to use it.






Eyes-
Mascara- We all know that I'm pretty in love with my VOLUMINOUS mascara. But I'm also pretty happy with my CG Professional or Maybelline Full & Soft mascara too on days where I'm not looking for so much drama and just want to swipe something on. The more dramatic a mascara is the more you have to work with clumping and combing. So it's not an every day thing.
Liner-I love Avon's glimmersticks again for eyeliner. I used to use MAC but it gets greasy and falls into the creases under my eyes. I used to use basic covergirl eyeliner but that's too hard. Avon is just right. I use black or purple.


Eyeshadow- I'll tell you that I don't wear it, but that's a lie. I don't wear it often because it takes a lot of work to put on. I have deepset eyes so eyeshadow tends to just settle into my crease area and that's gross. If I want it to stick I have to cover my whole eye area with MAC Paint in Bare Canvas. Then start applying layers of eyeshadow. I love a smoky eye but I rarely do it. BLEND! BLEND MORE! Another product I love is Physician's Formula Mineral eye makeup. It came in a little tube with an applicator and went on wet and set really fast. This has been discontinued which is depressing. I can see how some people maybe didn't like it, but I LOVED it. I'm hoading the tube I have left. (There's a ton of product in there, I probably could use it every day for a year and not use it up. So I guess I'll live.)

Highlight- Thanks to Carmindy's Five Minute Face, I was introduced to the world of highlighter. I just use it on the tops of my cheekbones, my brow bones, and sometimes the inner corner of my eye. I use Jane eyeshadows for this- either in It's A Girl or Sungloss. One is pink and one is yellow but once they're on they just look sort of irridescent. Again, adding dimension is a good thing. I don't use bronzer. It just winds up looking dirty or weird on someone as pale as me.

Lips- I'm partial to Avon Glazewear. I used to love MAC, but again it is really expensive and the texture was sticky. I have tried just about every brand of lipstick out there but then concluded that I don't LIKE lipstick. It dries my lips out and needs reapplying and YUCK. Kohl's sells a really good long wearing lip color- it's American Beauty Super Plush 10 Hour Lip Color and it's worth trying out. Don't even pretend that this will last 10 hours, that's ridiculous.

The Duchess

I saw The Duchess on Sunday, and if you are even slightly interested in costumes, check out the page here on the costumer's guide. The movie was much MUCH better than I expected, and Keira Knightly seems to be growing into her acting- she's finally managed subtlety instead of flying around a room. The costumes and makeup and hair were excellent, as were the sets. (The costumes HAD to be good, we're talking about a fashion icon. The hats alone seem to test the limits of physics.) I might have to watch this one again on DVD.

I haven't read the book, so that might color your opinion of the movie if you've read it. From what I gather on the amazon.com reviews, the movie only scratches the surface of Lady Georgiana's life. ("Think money, sex, adultery, lesbianism, aristocracy, drug addiction, gambling, politics, scandals, betrayals, blackmail, fashion, theater, and the French Revolution....") The movie touches on all of those things but you don't get the impression that she's having wild cocaine induced orgies while she plays cards in a box at the theater. Obviously I'm going to read all about it as soon as it comes back in to the library!

Naaaaature!

This morning I woke up, got out of bed, shuffled into the bathroom took off my glasses, and washed my face. I leaned over to the towel rack and patted my face dry, opened my eyes, and saw one of THESE LITTLE FUCKERS on the wall 3" from my face. Tried to not scream as it was only 6:45 and I didn't want to freak my neighbors out. Ran into the living room, grabbed a shoe, and smooshed it dead. I was off to an energetic start. The adrenaline was really pumping!

On the drive in to work I nearly creamed a small flock of wild turkeys. Now I'm not saying that I live right in the city or anything, it's really more suburbs, but I didn't expect to come across turkeys somewhere between an interstate and an airport. They're big ugly birds. And dumber than you'd imagine- two of them saw me coming, wandered out of the road, and then wandered back into the road. I can't imagine that they have a really well developed memory or anything, but come on. An object about 400 times bigger than you is coming towards you and you decide to stand in front of it and LOOK at it? Wow. I should have run over one for Thanksgiving dinner.

A few minutes later I was in my office park and I looked over and saw a deer just hanging out on the side of the road. There really wasn't much traffic so she seemed pretty docile, but I this is Tennessee so I was afraid some redneck was going to jump out of the trees and shoot her. That would NOT have been a good start to the morning so I'm glad that didn't happen.

When I got home this evening there was another bug crawling across my living room floor. I'm not sure what this was- it had wings and it was quickly dispatched to the great bug zapper in the sky. That's the great thing about not having the heat on yet (it was 60 degrees in my apt this morning)- the bugs are slow. However, when it is cold outside they really like to come INSIDE and get warm so in the morning I will be on FULL BUG ALERT. Because it will be 32 degrees tonight and I finally succumbed and turned on the heat.

We Made It

Well my little chickadees, today is Friday, which means we all made it through the week from hell. Almost everyone I know has had a bad week. It must be in the water. But as soon as I left work things got better. The people at Wal-mart were SMILING and saying "Excuse me" before cutting you off. That was like an alternate universe!

I got new shower curtain rings that aren't going to annoy me anymore. Have you ever just lived with something because you'd had it forever and then you look at it one day and realize that if you have to deal with it for one more second you're going to lose it? That's me and my former shower curtain hooks. (It's happened with many other things too: relationships, cluttery messes in my living room, sad dark furniture that needs painting... the list goes on and on.) Things were going along just swimmingly until I got sturdier shower curtains, and the weight of the curtain would take the hooks right off the rod and that just irritated me to no end. So tonight I got shower cutain RINGS, which will hold that curtain on no matter what. Life is about to improve around here.

On the agenda for the weekend:

• Costco: for trailmix nut clusters and Cheerios (why not buy industrial size? they're practically all I eat these days)
• World Market: because I haven't been to one in years and Halloween items might be on sale and who doesn't like to look at tiny jars of jam for picnics?
• Farmers Market: I hate the one downtown, but there are others and I'm going to find one of them. Need to remember to get cash on the way there....
• Movie with friends.
• Attempt to slipcover my old armchair using this method.
  

That should keep things on an even keel. Staying busy is the name of the game for weekends without much going on.

Friday Yet?

Today was hard for me. They're going to start making cuts at work and while it won't effect me or my team, I did have to break the news that keeping your job when others have to leave means more work for everybody. They took it well but it was still stressful. I can't tell them what I know, I can only try to give them some fair warning. So at lunch I drove over to Kohl's and smelled candles. And looked at shoes. And smelled more candles. I felt a little better.

I got back to work and 5 million (or thereabouts) different projects went haywire this afternoon. There were lots of emails and phone calls and I had to be the bad guy and then I had to beg and plead and then I had to be the bad guy again. I drove home late with my ears up to my shoulders and my jaw clenched. (Oh geez, don't tell my dentist that. She makes me wear a mouth guard every night because I clench my teeth too much and then I whine that my jaw hurts. Oh, and to protect the $3000 of dental work I've had done over the past year. Shhhhh!) I put on my new silky knit sleep pants and did yoga for an hour. And everything is mostly right with the world again. I just had to put my head in a different place. I'm going to eat a little dinner and have a glass of wine and watch Grey's Anatomy and STOP THINKING for one night.

I'm working on a couple of big posts but they're going to have to wait until things calm down some. THANK GOD tomorrow is Friday. And speaking of God, here was the message at the church up the street from me this afternoon:

THE ANSWER IS JESUS THE CARPENTER, NOT JOE THE PLUMBER.

That made even a heathen like me smile.

The Tudors

I have been Netflixing The Tudors and I have to admit I'm hooked. Sure, it isn't historically accurate. Everyone is too clean and perfect and there are no pock-marked faces or gross foods or anything like that. It's mostly about King Henry and some lusty wenches. But lusty wenches have their place so I'm enjoying the show and blocking out all of my Tudor history.

What I am LOVING about this show are the costumes. Oh. My. God. They are gorgeous.











WOW. I have flipped back through scenes and turned the sound off and just watched the clothes on this show. In fact, there's a website about costumes in film (that I'm about to pour through) and there is an entire page dedicated to the clothing you see these characters wearing.















Look at all of that embroidery on Anne Boleyn's dress. They must have a costume ARMY. I can't find a picture of it, but in the first season Queen Katherine is wearing a corset that looks like tooled metal, or maybe leather. The work that has gone into the design and execution of these pieces is nothing short of art. I wonder what their purchasing trips are like? Where do they get all of their trims from? How huge do you think the research library is?













Some shows and movies tend to ignore the men and spend all of the budget on the women, but not The Tudors. (And for the sake of the show it's nice that the men are all easy on the eyes. You can see why Jonathan Rhys Meyers played Elvis. Well, no, maybe not in this picture but I'm talking about COSTUMES here, not the eye candy!)

















Oh okay FINE, if you insist here's a picture of the man looking more, um, smoldering. :) Helloooooo King Henry! Who wants to be a random lusty serving wench NOW?

Woooooo, Cooler Weather Clothes!

YES! I am so happy I can finally drag out some of my cooler weather clothes. The temperature dipped all the way down into the 40s last night! Break out the scarves! Break out the sweaters! Apply!
Last week at Marshall's I got a really fantastic scarf. It is pure silk but not in a slippery silk scarf way, in a cozy warm loop-it-around-your-neck-let's-go-skiing way. It's purple. I'm tempted to go back and see if they have more in other colors because silk is warm but not too warm and it was only something like $18. I got another scarf that day in bright pink. It is the same deal but made of rayon and not nearly as comforting.

At Target I purchased two cotton sweaters with an argyle pattern on the front. They are CUTE. They're 3/4 sleeve v-neck sweaters that fall at the right spot and make me feel very sexy librarian when I wear them. One is gray with a grey/black/lime green pattern and the other is navy with a purple/yellow pattern. LOVE THEM. I also busted out the other cotton sweaters I have in hot pink, salmon pink, red, and sage green. Then there's a hooded wool sweater I got at Lane Bryant last year that is also really cute. They all look good with jeans or skirts, and the argyle sweaters will be good with my wideleg dress pants. Which I am never giving up. Skinny jeans may be here to stay but not on THIS body.
Next we come to boots. I have a pair of fake uggs I got at Target last year that are surprisingly warm and comfy and I'll be wearing those again this year (but not tucked into jeans or anything silly like that). And I have my faithful Nine West black leather boots that have been re-heeled will be worn constantly. I just need to get some inserts for those because the inside bottom wore out of them years ago. I am also lusting after some David Tate boots but I think I'll get those for next year, my Nine Wests should last another season.
Also on the Lust List (that might have to be a new tag) looking towards winter is a walking coat from Lands End in grey. It looks amazing. I would like to own it. But I don't have $200 for a coat when I have 2 others that work just fine. Maybe that'll be a next year item with those David Tate boots. Maybe I'll get them both on clearance in the spring and save them for Fall 2009.

And in fantasy world I am loving these too :)

David Sedaris

I went and saw David Sedaris live at TPAC tonight, and it was fantastic. I laughed so hard I was crying. He didn't read from his book, instead he read from new stories he's working on and tweaking as he does his tour. One of the funniest things was when he was talking about overhearing McCain supporters saying, "If Barack Obama gets elected I'm leaving the country!" And David was like, "Where would you go? Europe isn't exactly right-wing. I mean, in France you can marry your own gay children."

So awesome. If you ever get a chance to see him live, go. I think it is great than an author doing a reading can fill Jackson Hall- that place is huge. He stayed after to sign books, and someone said that last time he stayed until 2:00 am and the last book was signed and the last person spoken to. I really admire that. And I really am impressed at how he can take the smallest most mundane observations and make hilarious stories out of them. At one point he completely lost pages he was reading from and kept saying "oh my goodness! oh my goodness! this is terrible!" And when he was done reading said that had never happened to him and it was like his worst nightmare. But to me it just made him all the more endearing.

Fitness

Well that was a rather depressing post yesterday, wasn't it? Ironically I feel better just for getting things off my chest, but let's move things right along! I have been on a quest since March to improve my health (I just mentioned the sleeping problems, right?) and things are going well. About a month ago, maybe 6 weeks ago, I realized that I WANT to exercise when I get home from work. And since I log every bit of physical activity I get, I looked back and realized that I'm exercising at least every other day which is a huge improvement. Here's what I've been doing:

Food. I've been eating a mostly vegetarian diet lately. I have laziness and the economy to blame for that. I think chicken is gross to cook and beef is too expensive to justify and really I haven't been in the mood to eat meat. So I've been eating lots of beans, eggs, and soy instead. Also lots of cereal, apples, pasta, broccoli, zucchini, yogurt, cheese, hard boiled eggs, and whatever other fresh fruits and veggies I can find. I take lunch to work every day and I hardly eat out. It's a win-win. It's also cheap, I found a recipe for black bean and corn quesadillas that uses mostly canned ingredients and lasts for DAYS. Somehow my pantry got filled with cans of corn, beans, and tomatoes, like I'm preparing for nuclear fallout, so I'm trying to use a lot of that up.

Movement. I do a lot of Walk Away the Pounds tapes. I know they are corny but they get me sweating and that's the whole point. I have the Express tape and the Abs tape. I never do the 1 mile walks anymore, just the two miles (and I have a 3 mile walk when I get there). The Express 2 mile walk is easier but the Abs 2 mile walk has a lot of different movements on it and makes the time go by faster. Sometimes when there's something I want to watch on TV I just walk for about 40 minutes as I watch (hello debates!), but sometimes I do the tapes as a refresher. I also do yoga- either my Heavyweight Yoga tape, which I think is fantastic even if the production quality isn't so hot, or yoga from Rodney Yee's book Moving Toward Balance. Other times I'll do basic strength training stuff- push-ups, plank, crunches, lunges, and squats. I do all of them veeeerrrrryyyyy slooooooooowwwwwly and concentrate on form. I get really sore the next day.

Flexibility. After I exercise I stretch. I really like stretching, and I am amazed at how fast my body has changed. I can sit on the floor with my legs straight out in front of me and wrap my hands around the bottoms of my feet. I haven't been able to do that since I was something like two years old. I can almost touch my head to my knees (it would be easier if all that fat wasn't in the way!), so I'm to the point where I like to see how far I can stretch day after day.

So that's what's happening here in body land. My clothes are getting too big (wait, I'm getting small). I've lost weight and gained muscle so everything is feeling a little different. And I like it! Heather Meadows has been a huge inspiration, I am so amazed at the way her body has changed in just a few months. She's working hard and it pushes me to work hard too. Thanks Heather!

Sleepless Nights

You can read about my on-going sleep problems here if you really feel like it, or if you're thinking geez this sounds familiar haven't I read that somewhere before? Sleep just hasn't come easy to me since I was 14 years old. When I went to the doctor last year he merrily prescribed what is technically known as "a shitload" of Ambien and sent me on my way.

Sometime last February or March I was failing to breathe for long periods of time when I was asleep, and I was also waking up with splitting headaches. Off I went for a sleep study and they found that I had slightly higher than normal sleep apnea, so slight that there wasn't anything my doctor could do (like prescribe a cpap machine, which would have been overkill). I heard Dr. Oz (the Oprah guy) say that losing even 5% of your weight would significantly lower the # of apneaic episodes you experience, and since I've lost some weight the morning headaches have completely disappeared. Which is all one big long way of saying that I can rule out the major physical causes of insomnia.

I'm back into a cycle of sleeplessness. Maybe it's the change in light, I don't know. I do everything I'm supposed to- I get lots of sunshine in the morning, I exercise way more than I ever have before, I avoid caffeine, I avoid alcohol for a few hours before bed, I don't eat big meals late in the day, and I only use my bed for sleep. I mean SERIOUSLY!? What's a girl to do?

All of this came to a head for me last night. The two nights before that I took 5 mg of Ambien (1/2 a tablet) and slept like a baby. I'm afraid of being hooked on sleeping pills- that'll just make the whole thing worse. So last night I was reading. And reading. And reading. Usually I get really sleepy when I read and I just roll over and turn out the light. But last night I had to force myself to turn the light out at 2:00. And then I lay there wide awake with thoughts flying through my head and got kind of freaked out because I tend to get panic attacks at night and sometimes just being that unsettled in that situation is enough to trick my brain into thinking it's panic time. So I popped that light back on and read some more. I couldn't tell you when I went to sleep. But I had to be up at 6:45 to go to work and I've felt really wired and jumpy all day because of sleep deprivation.

Lately I've had the feeling that this has more to do with anxiety than insomnia. I can't say that this was the best summer and maybe now things are catching up with me. Fall is a tough time in the best of years. Now I am thrown off by the littlest things, things that shouldn't be hitting me hard, they should instead just float on by. But instead BAM I feel like I've been socked in the jaw.

So what's normal? I have been an anxious person for most of my life- I have to be careful how I respond to stress. I go through periods of mild depression and I think that's NORMAL, as in most people experience depression at different times, not as in "this is normal for my life- why change it?" But when do I get to a point where I need more help? And what about when behavioral therapy doesn't work anymore- do I go on meds? And will they make me worse than I was in the opposite direction? (Instead of racing thoughts do I turn into a zombie?) I don't want to not care, I just want things to settle down a little so I can SLEEP, which doesn't seem unreasonable. And watch me freak out over the idea that I'm going to need just a little more help than I can give myself with what I learned in therapy. Maybe it is just time for a tune-up. Or maybe looking back this is just a bad time of year in general and if I give myself a couple of weeks I'll snap right out of it.

Welcome to the 20th Century

I GOT HIGH-SPEED INTERNET.

I can't even welcome myself to the 21st century. I'm so behind the times....

In honor of this momentous occasion my blog got a little makeover. I was getting sick of the green polka dots. I needed something a little simpler and a little cleaner. And now that my computer can make changes at LIGHTNING FAST SPEED I knew this was the time to straighten things up.

Ohhhh, youtube. Ohhhh missed epidsodes of Grays Anatomy. Ohhhhh will I ever leave my computer again?

To the Nunnery!

This weekend I'm throwing open all the windows and cleaning. And de-cluttering. Someone was telling me about a convent here in Nashville where all that each novitiate has is a white iron bed and a chest of drawers. No belongings. No pictures. Nothing. They've taken a vow of poverty. And they all live together in one big room. And everyone was like, "Oh my gosh how do people live like that?" And I was thinking it sounded pretty nice. So obviously it's time to lighten up or I might go join a convent.

Points to Ponder

I read "The Last Single Woman in America" by Cindy Guidry, and it was a pretty good book of stories and observations. The first thing I liked about it was the title. Not The Last Single Girl in the World, but the Last Single Woman in America, which sounds stronger and not so desperate. A good start.

My two favorite passages in the book are as follows (the first cracked me up, the second made me think):

"I've got a friend in New Orleans whose divorced mother hooked up with an old high school boyfriend, a widower. Then, after a few months of newfound relationship bliss, her boyfriend, Carl, told her that he couldn't commit to anything because he wanted to date other people. Carl was 72 years old!
"Edna Mae told him to take a hike, and I guess once left empty-handed Carl realized he might die before he found anyone else to date because he eventually came around, but I mean, it really does beg the question: Does this shit ever end?"

"I have friends who think it's about time men started holding themselves up to the same absurd physical standards that women have been holding themselves up to for years. And you know what? They're out of their minds. When the image-obsessed portion of the population shoots from 50 percent to 100 percent, that ain't progress. I've been sitting here like a moron wondering when women were finally going to lighten up on themselves, and instead I've got to deal with a bunch of men acting like freaks, too?
"One thing that's been forgotten, however, is the part about how women used to cook, raise the children, make a home. Now nobody does it. I guess a cozy nest just isn't as sexy as a million dollar bonus, but what I can't figure out is how the women's movement ever got labeled feminism when it's done so very little to elevate the value of traditional female roles. It's turned thankless jobs into worthless jobs. That's not feminism, that's masculinism. And those thankless jobs not only had value, they had a very important purpose."

Well said Cindy.

One Big Fat Socialist Rant

This is looking to be one big rambley post, so maybe you should come back later when you have more time to read it. Or break it down into small, palatable chunks. Because I got stuff to say!

Tonight I watched the documentary Maxed Out. Yeah, I was a little slow to jumping on this bandwagon, but I thought it was really good. The world of credit card companies infuriates me, and unfortunately I am still giving them money, and will be for a while. They wait, they watch, they WANT me to slip up and make a late payment or screw up so they can slap me with late fees and higher interest rates. They're like vultures. And I'm not giving in. But that's not the point here.

What would that documentary be like if it was being filmed now? In the midst of our huge-ass financial meltdown, the bailout, the cost of the war in Iraq, rising health care costs (my health insurance deductible is going up by 150% next year), the presidential candidates sniping back and forth about taxes and how much they're going to raise or not raise them depending on your income bracket- it is just amazing. Oh, and we're pulling the rest of the world's markets down with us, harboring a GLOBAL recession. I don't even know what that means really- what should I expect? All I know is that I'm not buying anything for a while. Remember that tax "incentive" check we got earlier this year, how it was supposed to boost the economy because we were supposed to buy buy buy and it was going to fix everything? I think they're going to want their money back....

I don't have a problem with Barack Obama's plan to tax the hell out of the rich. Now, most people would think, "Duh Heather, of course you don't because YOU'RE NOT RICH- this won't have any impact on your life!" But even if I was rich and getting taxed like that I'd be okay with it because really I'm an idealist (and most who aren't will be yelling "socialist!!!" by the time they're done reading). I would hope that if I had that much money I'd be sinking it into some serious charities and giving a lot away to take care of people who weren't as well off as I was. So if I was being taxed to help the greater good, I'd be okay with that. (And I realize that's a big if, but I'm not going there right now because it's a pointless argument.)

And here we get to the point of this post. I am really sick of hearing from conservative right-wing republicans that they don't want their money to go to people who just need to get off their butts and get a job. My friend's father sent her this email (because he's a republican and likes to push her liberal buttons):

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs; in other words, redistribution of wealth. She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school. Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn’t even have time for a boyfriend, and didn’t really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened then asked, “How is your friend Audrey doing?” She replied, “Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She’s always invited to all the parties, and lots of times she doesn’t even show up for classes because she’s too hung over.”

Her father asked her, “Why don’t you go to the Dean’s office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend Audrey, who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father’s suggestion, angrily fired back, “That’s a crazy idea. How would that be fair? I’ve worked really hard for my grades! I’ve invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work. Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!”

The father said gently, “Welcome to the Republican Party.”

This view of the world is totally out-dated, and does not illustrate redistribution of wealth. If this email had ended in a situation where the financial aid office called the girl and told her that they were going to give half her financial aid package to her friend, THAT would have been redistribution of wealth (or fairness).

In North Carolina, where my friend is from, there has been a steady decline in the job market for over a decade as textile plants are shut down and operations are sent overseas where labor is cheaper. The problem is not a lack of work ethic, and people who just sit around all day and wait for a welfare check. This is about hard workers facing a lack of jobs and opportunities. I want everyone to have the same opportunities I have had. If a kid wants to go to college (and obviously I'd prefer they didn't fuck around and party hard while they're there), they should be able to go to college, and I'm willing to pay for that with my tax dollars. If a child doesn't have health insurance, heck if anyone doesn't have health insurance, it's not because they can't get off their lazy asses and get a job. It's because the three jobs a parent is working won't cover the premiums for family healthcare. And again I'm willing to help pay for that with my tax dollars. You can't equate hard work with being able to provide for your family now. If you don't have the experience or skills that will get a stable job that pays more than minimum wage you're behind before you even start. And we can't blame individual people for that. Hard work and income aren't directly proportional any more.

Apparently people from Denmark are some of the happiest people on the planet. The weather sucks and it's cold and the people are sort of serious looking and the country doesn't seem like a party capital or anything; but they get weeks of paid vacation, months of maternity AND paternity leave, government-assisted childcare, paid healthcare, paid everything (well, lots of things). And sure they are taxed something like 50% but you know what? They're still happy. And you know why? Because they're taken care of. Socialists! It starts to look rather appealing, doesn't it?

Sign of the Times

BigLots emailed me a coupon for 20% off my entire purchase. From BigLots. Where you can get a box of not-quite-expired tea for $1.00. The end times are near.

Today sucked. I'm not going to sugar coat it, this was one dud of a day. Work was full of network problems, software problems, unanswered questions. The weather was gloomy and rainy and blah. Mostly I'm just working through some stuff in my head. (Who knew that I'm human and not perfect and prone to doing things that are completely predictable but the patterns don't show up for years? I mean, WHO KNEW?) That does not get hashed out here, but let me tell you it is making me want to lounge on the couch tonight with a really sweet-gooey-sticky-salty-ice-cream-fudge-caramel-popcorn-cheesecake SOMETHING and devour it. I'm pretty much ready to eat my feelings. However, there isn't that much junk in the kitchen so I'll either have to get really creative or just give up and drink a coke zero. And that doesn't sound very satisfying at all, does it? God I am annoying myself!

Look at all them lashes!

I bought new mascara Thursday. I realized my old stuff was flaking off and falling into my eyeballs at super inconvenient times, like when I was driving down the interstate or watching movies or doing anything that involved, you know, vision. And then I tried to figure out what kind of mascara I had been using because I was fairly happy with it when it was newer, but all of the writing was rubbed off the tube and I thought WOW this might be pretty old and that's disgusting! So I went off to the drugstore and purchased a tube of L'Oreal's Voluminous Mascara in CARBON BLACK. I'm putting that in big letters because L'Oreal has got a lot of their stuff in CARBON BLACK now and that seems new (ha ha, right! aren't there cave paintings done with charcoal?) and exciting and better than "very black" or "soft black" or "black/brown" or "deep black", or the very boring-sounding "black". I think those marketing people are on to something. I was hooked.

I dragged out the digital camera because #1 I'm trying to take more pictures. I'm really bad about it and blog posts are a lot better with pictures to break up all them there WORDS. I'm chatty. #2 I wanted to see how the mascara looked, and that's really REALLY hard to do with a mirror, or even two mirrors and I thought AH HA! Brilliant! I can just take a picture. And this picture is AWESOME, isn't it? I mean, I haven't done a thing to this picture but re-size & crop my TV out of it. It must be the lighting or something. My skin looks fantastic, and look at those eyelashes! Whew! I could catch flies with those things. It is great- lengthening and thickening (hmmm, I've gotten some spam that says something to that effect), it hasn't smudged or flaked, and it's not too hard to take off. (Unlike that water-proof Max Factor 2000 Calorie mascara I got a few months ago- holy crap that stuff will NOT come off. Even with straight vaseline from the tub you have to rub it in and then wipe it off like 5 times and by then you've got vaseline in your eyes which is gross because you can't SEE. And I'm pretty sure I'm ripping out eyelashes in that process. So it hasn't gotten a lot of use around here.)

Too bad I didn't get the rest of my head in the shot. I've tried to get this picture again and apparently it was a one-time only event- it just hasn't worked since. SIGH. I think I'll take this picture with me when I get my driver's license and my passport renewed. Sure, you can't see my whole head and you can't see what color my eyes are and that might or might not be a state-issued background but I don't care! I'm turning 30 in 6 months, these are things I have to SAVE! I could be a teenager here!

This Old House

Last night after all of the excitement of the vice presidential debate, I couldn't sleep. Okay, that might have more to do with coffee, but I limit myself to one cup a week and yesterday morning was it. (If I don't limit myself I #1 can't sleep at all for days on end and #2 get really fancy digestive DISTRESS, but the cafeteria at work has starbucks coffee with flavored syrups you can squirt into it and it is sooooo good- so much better than the normal coffee they have which tastes like somebody set a shoe on fire and threw its charred remains into the coffee pot for a little extra added scorch, and despite that it is still weak. Some call me a snob, I prefer to refer to myself as selective.)

So I was sitting there on the couch at some insanely late hour watching the guys on Ask This Old House replace a post that holds up the roof between the garage doors of some poor woman's house. I don't watch this show much- I've maybe seen it twice before last night- but this is a classic PBS format. The host is informative, the house owner is playing dumb to come up with a reason for the host to tell us viewers why there might be a problem:

Home Owner: I just can't understand why my roof seems to be sliding into my garage...
Host (easily lifting HUGE dusty chunks out of the bottom of the post with a pick or screwdriver or something): Well it looks like you have some rot here.
Home Owner: Oh, really? What should we do? (I'm thinking: move!)
Host: Yeah, we should replace the post!
Home Owner: Do we have to replace the whole thing?
Host: No, let's see if we can just take out the bottom half.

(They do this on Antiques Roadshow too, the knowledgable expert will helpfully point out that the item they're looking at is a really old chair, or really old lunchbox with Daffy Duck on it, or a really really old painting but UH OH, it has some water damage. Maybe it's for the blind listeining in, I don't know. But it's funny. Then they get into the information that no one would know and the vase that some shrunken old man bought at a yardsale for $3 in 1972 is worth $10,000 and he has to take his heart pills. I love that stuff.)

Well of course once they got the trim off of the post they found out that not only had the post been sitting in some hole in the ground between the concrete slabs of the driveway and the garage, but that the top of the post was rotten too and there were (GASP) carpenter ants that ate a lot of the wood at some point. So then the host cheerfully points out that they should probably replace the whole post. Carpenter dude hauled out his circular saw and started slicing away at the wood, the camera crew getting lots of dramatic action shots of the sawing and drilling from different angles to try to make this as exciting as possible.

The whole point here was that I was instantly taken back to about 1988. Whenever I hear circular saws I can smell scorched pine and see my dad sloooooowly pulling his radial arm saw (when I was a kid I thought it was a "Radio Alarm Saw" which makes no sense now but seemed perfectly reasonable then) and cutting up boards to make more bookshelves for my mom. Slow because if he went too fast the saw blade would get stuck and blow the power fuse for the garage. But too slow and he'd end up burning the wood some so there was always this really great smell of sawdust and scorched wood. It's one of my favorite smells, along with freshly cut lawns and the musty coffee smell of my grandmother's house in the summer.

So that's what watching PBS brought back to me last night. It made me sort of nostalgic but mostly put me to sleep which was the whole point anyway! What are the sounds and smells that pull you back to childhood?

Why I Started This Blog

As all zero of my long-time readers might know, when I started this blog it was a really anonymous project. I didn't say what my name was (aside from the obvious anyway!), or who anyone else was I wrote about. My now-ex-boyfriend Sam was MHM (My Handsome Man), he didn't get to see it for months, and that was only after he did some serious sleuthing. I talked about people in terms of how they related to me, not who they actually were. I didn't say I lived in Nashville, I didn't say who I was or what I did, and for the most part I still don't. I don't even know what possessed me to do it, except that I read a lot of blogs and I wanted to try it out for myself. I didn't know what a blog was until I met Sam and he introduced me to the wonderfully written and sometimes heartbreaking world of Magazine Man on Somewhere On the Masthead. So I gave it a shot.

I was really proud of one particular post and I told my sister about this blog and swore her to utmost secrecy. When you are writing something incognito you are much more likely to share highly personal stuff and I didn't want anyone I knew to read about it. I was terrified of someone finding out my secret identity, to the point where I took the blog down twice. Paranoid much?

But now I've gotten to a comfort level where I'm relaxed about who reads this and what they think. It's mostly a place for me to share stories and opinions, and people who know me in real life know that I am not shy about sharing some opinions! It's also become a place where I post some craft projects because I like to document the process, and it is good for that too.

I've been hesitant to share this with close friends and family members because I have read a lot of really self-centered, dull, overblown blogs and I didn't want anyone to think of me that way. I don't want this to be like, "Oh I guess I should read Heather's blog post because she's bound to ask me about it. Wow she's one heck of a self-absorbed person. How long is she going to ramble on for? How much can someone talk about their eyebrows???" It was an experiment that grew into something bigger and now that I want friends and family to read it, we are WAY past the awkward stage. You can't just casually mention to your mother or best friend that you've been writing a blog in a public domain for two and a half years and haven't bothered to share it with them. But I think there were some good reasons at the beginning.

So, welcome to my blog. I am sorry it has taken me so long to share it with the people I know in real life. I ramble and I am really inconsistant with how often I post, but it's here. Now you can read all of my genius/flash of brilliance ramblings for yourselves.

PS How am I STILL having font problems??? I give up. Get a magnifying glass if necessary.